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Boris
"Stupid brute." -N. M. on Boris. "A total idiot"- raves the Moscow Times "Public enemy number one" -Most of Russia Overview Boris is the deranged, overly happy, and evil cousin of Nikola Medvedev. He has superhuman strength and the speed of an ox. Boris has been the bane of many peoples' lives. He is a key character. He was once the Czar for a day. It was known as the The Dark Day of Boris. Appearance Boris is a very tall and strong person. He has short, dark, oily hair. He stands at 7 feet 6 inches. He wears spandex and rubber. He smells like pine, and he always looks like he wants to kill you. Relationships Nikola Nikola hates Boris but tolerates him. Boris loves him and hates him. WOB WOB (Wife Of Boris) was the wife of Boris. They had a child They married at The Stupid School. He killed her bacause he Fat Debby Fat Debby is the daughter of Boris. She hates him because he killed her mom. Russia He is public enemy number one. He destroys much of the country. Its cities constantly fall victim to his rage. Stupidity "Yo Boris so dumb they not accept him in his own college" - N. M. on his stupidity. Boris has the I.Q. of a drunk polar bear. Surprisingly, he has perfect physical skills. Mind Nikola Medvedev once tried to tame Boris and saw his mind "A room temperature gift box with thousands of holes. Inward, all of Boris thoughts written on a chalkboard hanging from one of the walls. All of his senses coming in through the holes. I see myself. I hear laughter. I smell the broken watermelon. I taste the blood. I feel the splinters. They all converge at a circus elephant holding a giant peanut dancing on a unicycle. This is Boris's mind." Life and Times Early life Boris was found in the woods by Nikola's Aunt at age six after witnessing Chernybol. Nikola thought that Boris came from the future due to the radiation. He proposed that Boris got his strength from radiation and was sent back in time by the concentration of it. Boris was a time traveler. He was left by wolves. Growing up At ten he destroyed the family farm. At eleven he was 6 feet 3 inches tall. At twelve he destroyed the Kremlin. At thirteen he was 7 feet tall. At fourteen he caused the Tunguska Event. At fifteen he was 7 feet 3 inches. At sixteen he destroyed a quarter of Moscow. At seventeen he was 7 feet 6 inches. He graduated from The Special School with a degree in pure stupidity. He moved to a cave where he ate limestone every day. Czarship He won a raffle and became the Czar for the day. Russia was almost destroyed. This is known as the Dark Day of Boris. He wrecked many of The Czar's Vehicles and ruined much of Russia. Hugging Nikola When Boris hugged Nikola , he was sent back in time. Boris hugged him again sending him back again. At the times of the hugging, Boris was under the Kremlin. Vincent Boris helps Nikola win a session of congress against Vincent by attacking a congressional building. To thank Boris, Nikola gave him a box of swig sized Vodkas. The WOB Story Boris got married to WOB and had a child. He killed WOB for no reason with a street lamp. His child, Fat Debby was angered by this and tried to destroy Novosibirsk. However, chronologically, Fat Debby attacks Novosibirsk right before the Epic. Halloween Boris almost kills Nikola in a fit of love. Nikola wakes up with Boris breathing on his face. Nikola punches Boris, breaking his nose. Boris cries and begins to smash Nikola's cars. Desperate to save his cars, Nikola told Boris that he would go Trick or treating with him. Boris desists. On the night of Halloween, Nikola and Boris Trick or treat on Oppression Circle. The get to Veterinarian John's house. He is terrified that Boris is eating candy. Soon Boris goes crazy and begins to destroy the town. He is damaged by an airstrike called in by Alexi. Nikola escapes while Boris continues to destroy the town. Soon a huge military operation is called for. Boris is almost killed by several bombs going off. he is captured but escapes and runs to The Czar's Palace. He attacks Nikola's family but is subdued by Nikola. As a result, he is frozen and moved to the arctic. Vincent Two Boris was used by Vincent in a bid to destroy Russia. Vincent infiltrated the facility where Boris was kept and released him. He moved the original Boris back to Ukraine. A clone was made and moved to Vincent's fleet. A countdown clock was set and Boris was moved into Vincent's Blimp. Boris was then released into Moscow with Nikola watching. He destroyed block after block and ate Veterinarian John. He desisted and was called to kill Nikola in a fight to the death. As he was about to kill Nikola, Nikola yelled "Boris, I love you." out of desperation. Nikola's gambit worked and Boris attacked Vincent. Realizing that Boris was too dangerous, Nikola gave him a jet. Nikola ordered that his blimp to shoot Boris. The main weapon eviscerated Boris. Though this Boris was dead, another existed in Vincent's Blimp. This Boris was sent out into the world with a copy of Vincent. The Epic When Nikola left for Lenie, Boris followed. He helped Nikola fend off the Czar's Finest and was waiting for him on the other end of the Loch Ness. In a trip back to Moscow, Boris posed as Nikola 's body guard. After trying to kill Nikola , Boris was locked in the wine cellar of the Czar's Palace. In a fit Boris smashed the wooden beams holding up the palace. The whole thing collapsed, burying him. He was presumed dead. Death and Times Death He escaped from the rubble and destroyed half of Moscow. Nikola grew enraged when he destroyed the Little Taste of Russia Mall, where Nikola had bought his favorite suit, tigerskin underwear. He was killed by Nikola with the Fire Chair. Times He went to purgatory (as opposed to hell) because he was confused. In purgatory his roomate was dead Nikola . He went to heaven with Nikola after he saved Nicole from Tsavo through divine intervention. Time Travel After Chernoybl Boris was sent back to Nikola's time. He was sent forward again when he was 14 and caused the Tunguska Event. Later, he sent Nikola through time by hugging him. The molecules inside of him allow him to travel through time. Quotes “What am big monster?” -Boris “I am not knowing what I have done him to you.” -Boris Victims *Nikola's Aunt *100 tourists *800 square miles of forest *1000 Vodka drinkers *10 nuclear power plant employees *10000 St. Petersbugers (Burgers) *Uncle Minsky *5000 citizens 1911 *Many Moscow citizens (1911) *Many more Moscow citizens (1913) *Even more Moscow citizens (1914) *Alexi *The Little Taste of Russia Mall *Lenny *1000 stray dogs *Nikola's ribs *WOB *His prom date Trivia *He can lift 800 pounds when calm and 8000 pounds when angry. When in a state of craze, He can lift a 100 ton statue. *He loves and hates Nikola. *At the prom, he picked up a girl and threw her. We are still waiting for her to fall down. *He has been labeled as a risk to life as we know it. *He forgets to flush. *He hates the dark. *He fights bears in the summer. *He got an A+ at the special school; in stupidity. *He got an F in How to wipe your butt. *He never learned about the Pripyat Hunting Estate because the Medvedevs were afraid he'd rename it something ridiculous, as he did with the Odessa Vacation Home. *He is allergic to IQ and teachers. *He has a stuffed kitten named fluffy. *He likes to give Nikola big hugs whenever he sees him. *He killed WOB by hitting her with a street lamp. 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